Unfortunate Sayings

‘Your Rear End is Much Larger than Mine’ and Other Unfortunate Sayings

Everyone does it at some point. As soon as you speak you cringe and wish you pull the words out of the air and put them back in your mouth. Then you hope that no one heard you. Unfortunately, someone always hears. This happened to me was one summer day when I went to outdoor event with my mother. We had arrived in her car, and she asked if I could drive home as she had brought her prescription sunglasses, but forgot her regular glasses. I hadn’t driven her station wagon before. As I backed out of the parking space I noticed that the vehicle was bigger than what I normally drive I stated, “Your rear end is much larger than mine.” Fortunately she laughed, as what I said was not at all what I meant.

Another unfortunate statement came one night when it was pointed out how pretty the clouds were lit up in front of the moon. At which I confidently replied “Those clouds are behind the moon.” The stupidity of the remark was immediately obvious. Unfortunately there was no way to correct it and it was pointed out that those clouds would have to be really far away to be behind the moon. I agreed and hoped the subject would quickly change.

My only solace in making such remarks is that I’m not the only one to do it. Proofreading a coworker’s letter one day I found that he planned to be ‘inducked’ into a local organization. That’s a ceremony that I don’t want to know about. During an internship, a coworker was asked to find information on Fung Shui. She found this difficult, as no one seemed to know anything about Mrs. Shui. Finally, another coworker on the phone excitedly exclaimed, “You hit the tip of the pin on the head!” combining several metaphors into one. While not a great excuse for my own remarks, at least I’m not alone.

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